unpredictable journal

28 February 2005

Yesterday after being accused by my jie fu, I came online to update my journal and pearlyn's came into the room.

I was so regret to open the drawer (inside are all pc games) for her when she requested. I opened for her was because, her mood was very unstable. We believe she was frightened by something.

She took out many discs and play, but I didn't bother her. After a while, Jo came back from the open house and so I carried pearlyn and went out.

If I didn't remember wrongly, Pearlyn did took out 1 or 2 disc(s) [Fifa soccer 2005, if I'm not wrong, cuz my second kor disc was missing] with her. She threw it on the floor and my mom picked it up and asked my elder kor to keep it.

Now the problem is, where did he kept in? I was looking around the whole house since 2am last night until now, I still couldn't find.

I'm doom is I still couldn't find his disc back. I'm aware that I'm at faults, but what had happened no ones can do something to it.

I told him that I'll get him a new disc, but he said that that's not the problem. The problem was that, all the matches of tournaments that he played was saved into the disk. Sigh... I'm aware about that too. But really, I can't do much but to get him a new one. And he did told me, no matter what, by tonight, he wants to see fifa soccer 2005 disk 1 on the table. Doesn't matter, is a old one, a new original or pirated one. Sigh...

I was really stunned, I felt so confused and so lost. How does it happen? Everything seems so weird.

Thanks god!

Wahaha... I found it behind my cupboard, the disc! Yes... thnx god. Haix...

Didn't practice cello for the past few days as I was kinda not feeling well. So just now practiced an hour for the sa di er chuan qi and dotted some impt markings... hehe...

Hm... very bored... came online nothing to do, later going play sims 2... *winks* Long time didn't play le.

I hope I'll luv myself more

12:34

27 February 2005

The most sensible kid's out of a million

Yesterday performance was like sucks! Sigh, felt so lousy in playing all those pieces, well forget it.

Headache when we're on our way back to BLCC. Then reach home feel damn dizzy, the whole house keep moving round and round and feel like vomitting too.

After a good cry, feel better. Went to grab some bites and drank a lot of water. Then watch "Guess Guess Guess" till 11pm then went into my bed room to sleep.

Around 2am plus, sis and her hubby quarrel then came to our house. Shit! Mom woke up, scolded them so loud that I was awake too.

Sigh... my poor niece was alone at home. Sis hubby was trying to threaten my sis by saying that the main door wasn't lock. I woke up of my bed and quickly took my key and ran over to their house.

Frankly speaking, I was afraid of those indian peoples who's drunk and talked rubbish. I cried and cried and I ran as fast I'd.

I felt relief only when I saw the main gate was lock. Sigh... why must she the only to suffer when both her parents quarrel? Why? Why must they always left her alone when they had a fight? Why? She's innocent... she's just only a toddler... please!

I had seen many kids before, she's one out of the million who's so bright, so intelligent, so sensible, so obedient who always receive compliments from her childcare teacher. [Just for ur info, she's only 17months when she went into the childcare, ain't she poor thing?]

Sigh... I just couldn't understand why can't they treasure her as a precious daughter. Sigh... she's sick, she needs all the attention from both of you and not her grandma and her aunt.

More often than not, it always breaks my heart to see the way they treated her. Oh well, they didn't ill-treat her, but just can't stand and tolerate the way they treat her, esp her mom. Sigh... is my promise to take good care of her when her parents abandon her. It's my promise, if I happens to break it, lighting will strike me or cars will knock me down.

Today I went over there at 11am to bring her over to our house. When I was waiting for her dad to get prepared to work, I sat together with her in the sofa. She pushed me away after some time, then I told her "You don't want aunt? Next time nobody will take care of you". Immediately she asked me over and her left hand was tapping the sofa seat.

You saw it? How sensible she's. I still could remember when her ear stud dropped out and her mom was trying to wear it back for her and still was crying due to the great pain. Her parents quarrelled again because of this. She was so scare that she stopped crying and let her mom wear it back for her.

Such a good and obedient daughter go where to find? She went to her childcare teachers cabinet and took out sweets. She gave all the childrens each an everyone one sweet and she didn't take one for herself. Haha... intelligent, sensible?

Teachers asked who opened the cabinet and everyone said Pearlyn. Immediately she went to stand one side and putted both of her hands behind her head. Why? Cuz she know that teachers will punish her for doing that. Isn't she sensible and adorable?

Her dad touched her mom when quarrel, she protected her mom by hugging her tightly. Sigh...

After all, I can only said that she's a very very very and even extremely sensible daughter. I really hopes that her parents will treasure her as a precious daugher. Please!

Update

Sigh... I lent my phone to Jo and she hung the call from my sis hubby. Sigh... end back he yelled at me when he called my house. Sigh... why must he accuse me and why can't he find out the truth before he acts?

Sigh... my head was so pain since yesterday night, yet no ones seems to be bother. Haix... nvm, kinda used to it.

I'm really upset... wish I'm alone in the beach now.

I tried to be strong, but I can't

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:34

25 February 2005

There's always something that stopped my intention of buying cello

Just spoke to my mom about me wanting to buy a cello. I even told her that I'm going to get Su Qing to sponsored part of the money. Mom kept quiet throughout the whole conversation and she ended the whole conversation with: "Go ahead and buy it, I'll sponsored you part of the money".

Of course I'm elated, but there's always something that stopped my intention of buying cello. I always thought and afraid of lots of things. Sigh, which someone had told me before not to think so much. But I just can't...

This time round, I believe I've no problem in reaching out a $1500 cello (the max that I'm willing to invest in). The problem lies in I'm not having a private lesson with him whereas the other of his students are. Get it?

So what's the point in investing it? I need lots of suggestion in order to let my mind set soon. So please feel free to give me your suggestion whether through tagboard / mail. Thnx...

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:38

Time files so fast!

Wah... not realizing that today's already Friday, hoo~~ time files really fast.

I haven't been practicing the allemnade part of the suite no 1, hopefully tomorrow won't be scolded, I'll just try my best.

So guess tomorrow gonna be a long long day for me. Sigh... after the sectional practice, still gonna 've the performance at ubi. Wa kao! Is damn far man! Haix... I'm sure I'm gonna be death beat once I get home.

Mom is time to brew some heabal tea for us. We're getting sick due to the hot hot hot weather. Esp piggy kor and piglet. Pls!!! I really miss drinking ur heabal tea...

Hm... that's about all, gonna practice cello le. Take care~~

Update

Haha, today didn't really practice much of cello. Shit, hopefully tomorrow gonna be fine. Haha...

Helped mom out in the kitchen this afternoon. Well, didn't help much but was a great helper in sampling the food. Haha... bloated...

After which, helped my mom to mop the floor, it was so oily... hehe... felt more refreshing after mopping up.

Have a cold shower... made me felt more refreshing. Hoho~~ after which practiced cello till around 8pm and 've my dinner. Delicious worx! Haha... and of course the herbal tea, hoho~~ 1 tin for me = 2 cups... yummy! Hope that my throat 'll feel better.

I hope I'll luv myself more

13:52

24 February 2005

Work hard, and work harder. Don't slack, don't slack, please don't slack!

Finally 2 of my old sims are death. Wahaha... feeling so happy. Cuz all the time I've invested in is to see the young one grow up and the old one pass away. Haha... pervert?

SYCO sectional practice was fun. The 4 of us played the prelude, but was so messy. Haha... Jo and my tempo was wrong, MH and Ryan keep on playing faster and faster, esp MH. So end up, left only Ryan the one who's playing. Haha... so pai sey...

He played very well, but no point to envy him when I can do it too. Well, each of us 've our own style in playing the prelude. So... just work hard and work hard and work harder.

Hard work pay off, received some compliments from Mr Ji. Haha... of course I'm happy cuz 've been spending quite a lot of time in practicing it. Well, afterall I think the 3 guys played the best of suite no 1, prelude. Haha... nvm... work hard and work harder. Hehe...

Mr Ji 'll get back to my tempo for the prelude again some other time. Now I shall focus on Allemnade, the second movement of suite no 1. To me, out of the six movements in the suite no, the second movement was the most difficult part of all. So really must 've the double time in practicing this movement. Work hard and work harder... N don't slack, don't slack, dont' slack please!

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:42

23 February 2005

Empty promise...

Elder kor was kinda what, he have a phone but was kinda out-dated type so he used mine. He break his promise, say that he'll be back home before I leave home to syco pracitce. But just now he phoned back and ask me if he can 've the phone as he might not be able to reach home and pass it back to me on time. Sigh... I don't wanna say him much, he has done what he should and so he should be back home by now. Well, he just choose not to come back and went to find his friends, sigh... felt so disappointed with him

Hm... finally I found the password protect for "My true world" and so I've locked it. Just feeling so down...

I hope I'll luv myself more

15:11

22 February 2005

Kor is back!!!

This afternoon elder kor phone back home and told me that he's out. But he's going for a haircut before coming back home. Looking at the time now, it's already 4.36pm but he's still not back home yet. Don't tell me that he's going to shopping till late evening, cuz that 'll definitely make mom's went crazy! Cuz mom is gonna start the reunion dinner at around 7pm. So please come back home soon, my beloved brother.

I lost my passion again, sigh... hopefully I'd find it back tomorrow. If not I'm going to suffer during the SYCO sectional practice. Hm... life's at home is so bored, maybe going to find a job this Thursday.

Oh yah, mom said that she has a friend working in a battery factory. One week only need to work five days, 7am-3pm. Hoho~~ I feel like working too, the most I reach home is around 4pm and I'd have a rest before going for SYCO practices on Mon and Wed. Haha... good idea right? Weekends no need to work, such a nice job where to find?

That's about all, take care everyone!

Finally he's back!

Kor reached home at 5pm, the salon closed already, so he didn't 've his haircut. Haha... he say me grow up le (Taller and fatter). Haha... jialat, really gotta go on diet. But many people say me thin le, but I also don't know la. Just know that I loss some weights and grew taller le. Well, still gotta go on diet. Starts on march... haha... now still 've tibits and chocolates waiting for me. Haha...

Hm, my old pc really spoilt le, motherboard and drive c. Haix... sad man... hm... hopefully dad 'd buy me a new cpu. Hehe... hint hint... but doesn't really matter la. If wanna buy, buy a laptop or cello for me. Hehe... *Greddy hor?* Well, that's me!

He changed to be more cheerful le, wondering was it to do with the card that I sent to him. Haha... well... speechless. Forget to take yiyuan no from audrey, cuz I got something wanna inform her. Haix... so forgetful... old le <-- that's what my god-bro used to say me. Haix...

Mom just now bring in the abalone for me, it taste like sucks man! Eee... puke! Granny abalone taste nicer...

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:35

21 February 2005

I'm tired and I'm going mad soon...

I'm still so tired after having a 12hours of sleep. Sigh, wondering how am I going to survive this evening during the SYCO practice.

Actually don't wanna wake up when the phone rings, but mom just reminded me yesterday that I've to wake up and answer the phone call no matter how tired I'm. So I woke up and ran to the living room to answer the call, but the stupid person didn't make any sound. Shit!

Most probably elder kor 'd be coming back tomorrow afternoon, haha... that's what I've been waiting for. And of course, mom gonna be extremely happy cuz he's my mom de BAO BEI ER ZI

How nice if I can practice cello from 8am-4pm when all my friends are in school. I'd 've the first 2hours for my theory, 10-11am to practice scale, 11am having my lunch, 12-2pm practice exercise pieces and 2-4pm practicing the prelude. Haha... just like attening a private cello school? Haha... don't care about me, I'm just going mad, staying at home. Haix...

I hope I'll luv myself more

13:06

20 February 2005

Going home so early was a mistake

Just manage to catch 4hours of sleep this morning, still kinda energetic. *Happy*

Meet Jo at 9.40am at my sis house void deck and reached the community center at around 10am plus. I could predict that there weren't many people but I suppose Mr Lee was already there, but I was wrong. So had my own practice until around 11am when Mr Lee came into the practice room.

He didn't start the practice immediately, as there're only string people (Er Hu and Cello). The rest of them are missing! It's meaningless to practice in details when there're so many people who didn't turn up for practice, so he just went through all the scores.

Percie and Michelle had their solo perform when we had our lunch, Percie quite good, can be improved if she's willing to practice harder. Michelle wise, gotta kampateh! But also played quite good le, just work a little harder and you can be as good as percie.

After which, went to catch "Hide and Seek", we nearly late for the show. Ah! How lucky we're, the show wasn't start yet when we went in.

It was kinda bored in the beginning, but the show just get more and more excited when coming to the end. Not really a frightening and horrific movie, but a film that attracted your sympathy for Ameline who her dad happens to be Charlie...who has killed many people.

Well, a nice movie worth to watch.

After which went to meet Gina outside the popular for job interview. But in the end, both of us didn't went for the interview, wondering why.

So we went shopping and so I spent a lot of money, haix... heartbreaks man! Haha... I swear I'll never ever spend money like today again.

Went back home so early was a mistake, shit! Dad went to horse racing this afternoon and he lost quite a few bucks, so he wasn't in a good mood. Shit... yelled at me when I haven't even step into the doorsteps... haix... spoil my mood man...

I wish I'd update more, but I was really sleepy and tired now. Well, just take care everybody

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:18

Catch some sleep soon

Today woke up only when I received call from Mic. Ai yo, is already 1pm, shit! Gonna be late for sectional practice. So I quickly woke up and 've a shower, after that went out of house le.

Hm... saw a single deck 99, very crowded then never take. After that, couldn't catch any cab or buses. Haix... until sis phoned me and told me that I forgotten to bring my BOW! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! I walked back to my house void deck and sis bring for me. Haix...

I asked when is my sis-in-law, wanting him to fetch me there. Haha... but he went back to work le. Haix... end up I took a cab at the bus stop opposite GP. Hm... very soon after that I catch a cab. But the driver was like sucks! He doesn't know where is the place, yet refused to ask me earlier, and so, I pay him at a higher cab fare. (o_oll)

When I reahed there, Mr Ji asked me to teach juniors, so I said okay. Cuz he 've been teaching for free (I've graduate and so, I think that he don't 've the need to teach me any more, but still he continue to teach and guide me after my graduation on 2003). So I helped him to teach juniors. Haha... he introduced me to juniors that I'm Jialin Lao Shi. Haha... I feel like puking... haha...

Hm... so my juniors are terrace learning double bass, jialing aka felicia learning cello and cherly learning cello too <-- last min joining in de. Hm... taught them the notes on the bar. Hm, satisfied with their performances. Gonna briefly comment on their performance.

Terrace, a guy who's very quiet. Hm... slow reply to the questions but overall, he manage to understand better and has a clear idea of everything.

Jialing aka Felicia, a girl who learn very fast and she has the self-motivation which I admire a lot. Haha... she's so call a little "talented" in music. So glad to 've a junior like her.

Cherly a girl who gets anxious and nervous easily, and she could forgotten everything and left with a completely blank brain. Haha... attitude wasn't very good. Haha... she told Mr Ji that she wanna learn cello, she wish to learn cello. So I really hope that she can do well in it, and excel.

After which, Mr Ji went back home. Left Mic they call at the combine and left juniors with me. Sigh... thought that we're having sectinal practice... wad de hell. Haix... if I'm aware that he's asking me to teach juniors, then I don't wanna bring cello there le, so heavy. Haix... sad...

Hm... guess if Mr Ji's not going to listen to me playing Bach suites soon, then I think I'll start to slack a little. Cuz... each time I've been practicing, my tempo is getting quicker and quicker... and that's totally an insult of playing the suite nos...

5pm Su Qing called me and I didn't answer, cuz I was a little late in answering the call. I told him that I'm going to the performance, as I wasn't aware that it's at the restaurant. Haix... cuz the sms I received was smart casual wear... so.... haix... wear till to casual le. Haha... so too pai sey to go cum my slipper spoilt le. Haha... first time...

Hm... so after Jo they've went for the pfm, left only percie and mic... but they didn't stay for long as percie till 've her wushu lesson. So... they left not long after Jo.

So after they've left, I had been practicing non-stop at the room. The feeling was so good. Haha... totally along, I'd play anything piece I like, I'd play it so loud (When I don't do it at home). It sounds so nice... just loving bach suites...

Hm... so Jo was kinda lucky to come back on the dot (when I've decided to go home at 9.30pm). Haha... after which I saw Hafiz... haha... had a chat with him and I really know a lot about him. Hm... if I'm wrong, he was a model before (The way he dress, the way he walks, u'd tell), I asked him but didn't hear probably. Hm... so he was under the Jap association and sponsored him to S'pore and he had a make over. Before he pick up liu qin, he learnt dizi... haha... but his liu qin skills, he learned fast, cuz he had his first grade, grade 8 taken last year which he only learnt liu qin for 1yr. Ai yo, wo de tian ar... haha... he was so talented ar? Haha... my god... he's also hardworking... cuz he live in tampines yet he's willing to come for the practice. Haha... a very nice chap... to be continue... I haven't finish yet...

It was like oh my god! Now already 4.05am yet I'm stll awake. Tomorrow still 've practice, jia lin ar jia lin, better catch some sleep soon! If not guess tomorrow u're going to fall asleep in the cinema when watching the "Hide and SeeK"!

I hope I'll luv myself more

03:12

18 February 2005

Sickening

Shit! Doesn't know what happen to my old PC, it says that "Error Reading Drive C". Sigh, guess that PC hopeless already, can sell it away le. *Sob*

Then moved in my canon printer but doesn't know what's the problem with that, I couldn't scan anything into my computer. Haix... sickening, spoilt my mood...

My passion is coming back

Hey! My passion is coming back. Guess I lost my passion the last few days was because I didn't listen to the CD (Ma's playing prelude of suite no 1). That day, dad used my discman, mom keep it for me. Then I lazy go and take it out, so didn't listen before sleep. That's why, I lost my passion.

Felt satisfied with my performance today, good good then. Hm... later gonna watch the DVD for the forth times, if not tomorrow gonna return to Mr. Ji le.

Tomorrow sianz, haix... after practice still 've performance. Perhaps, I'm not going man, well c my mood. Hehe... *wink*

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:32

17 February 2005

My condolence

Just got a bad news from Kelly, saying that Li Ling has pass away. Sigh, she's my colleague in TB last year and she take good care of us. Sigh... wondering how does it happen. My condolence for her parents.

Had been trying hard to play the prelude well, but still wasn't concentrate enough, sigh... perhaps later in the evening practice again. Hm... had been practicing the other movement of the first suite, overall quite nice... like it. =)

Mom's always in foul mood when she came back from work. She'll only be nice to you once she had a shower that washes off all the hot air in her. Haix... came back home giving me that stupid attitude, just coulnd't stand her. But, I give in to her...

Update

Li ling passed away because she was over-excited. She got the first prize in the game, and got herself a lot of things, she was so happy that she fainted when she's on her way to the stage. They quickly sent her to the hospital, when she's in the ambulance, she couldn't hold on any longer and she just passed away like this. I felt so sorry

Mom cooked sis dinner but didn't phone her. But luckily brother manage to get sis and her hubby back for supper. But she they couldn't finish so much of the food and I was called to eat as much as possible. Shit! This evening, all I've ate gonna go on diet for 2days 1night. Haix... all thanks to mom!

I went to do some reseach regarding the recording of Bach Six Suites. Hm, finally I've found some samples played by Rostrovopich. Honestly speaking, I really preferred his DVD version. Out of so many that I've heard, Rostrovopich was the one who played the fastest for the first suite prelude which I don't really like it. But his recording, Yo-yo-ma and Pablo Casals was highly recommended by a lot of people.

But I personally prefer Pablo Casals recording as the tempo was extactly what I wanted. But the recording was done so many years ago, I just couldn't stand the hiss sound. So still wondering lor.

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:00

I'm going mad at home

Guess I'm going mad staying at home everyday. Recently I had been coming online for 2, 3 times when I didn't know what I wanted to do.

I mean I'd rather play The Sims 2, at least, my sims are earning some money back home than me coming online doing nothing.

Mom had been complaining about the monthly bill is damn high since my holidays. She's giving some hints to me that I shouldn't use the computer so frequently. Well, I'm really damn bored at home, just let me enjoy, mom! Once school re-opened, guess I'd only be coming online to do all those projects... shit!!! Is horrific man!

Btw, I had submitted my bursary application form, hopefully it's successful and I'd get my money soon!

Finish reading First Love 10, the ending was... ... ... (wanna find out? Borrow the book from me and read it and u'll know... ) hehe...

Overall, I find that Love for Venus is more interesting than First Love lor... not believe, check it out...

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:57

16 February 2005

I lost my passion

Had been practicing cello recently, but just felt that each an everytime I played the Prelude of the Suite No 1, I felt that I had lost the passion. Sigh, I just couldn't play it as well as before.

SY mom gave her a dressing down for not helping her out in her shop this morning. Sigh, everyone seem to be feeling down.

Pearlyn's knows how to say "Scare" when she got frightened. Haha, she has grew up, isn't she?

SYCO practice is going to resume soon, kinda miss those days man! Haha...

Maybe watching "Hide and Seek" tomorrow or this coming Saturday. Also renting "Shutter" from CD shop at GP. Damn bored at home doing nothing.

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:08

Woke up pretty early this morning to practice cello. After which SY came over and we chatted till 8pm and then went to JP.

Go there to hunt for Yo-yo ma albums but didn't find the one that I want. Nvm, no hurry.

Hm... just bought First Love 10, haven't read yet, sianz...

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:24

15 February 2005

Tomorrow after guess SY is coming over to my house. Haha, she's here to chat with me not having any intention to take red packet. After which, maybe we'll be going to SQ house to bai nian. Well, we'll 've to depend.

Really wish I'd change my bad habit, living in a more proper and healthier lifestyle. Had been sleeping till noon these few days which I can't tolerate at all.

Slacking kinda a little these few days too, hopefully tomorrow I'll be more hardworking inorder to back up for the last few days.

Very soon, elder kor's coming back. Haha, welcome him back home. Mom said that she gonna have a reunion dinner on that day of his return. A bonus red packet for him too. Haha... well, mom was kinda favoritism, cuz we didn't 've the abalone opened on CNY. But she gonna open both the abalone on the day of his return. *Jealous* Haha...

Hm, next Tuesday I'm going to wake up very early to wait for kor... haha...

Dad and mom kinda talk a little cuz of my niece. Finally her mum kinda cool down already, if not guess she won't be coming this evening. Haha, she wore till very pretty... haha... grew up le.

Cinema was damn full, left only with the first two rows, shit... what am I going to watch when I' m seating so near the screen? *Spoil Mood*

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day...

I hope I'll luv myself more

02:18

14 February 2005

Hope to 've a good cry

Woke up at around 1pm plus and then went to 've a wash up before Jo come to my house. Hm, watched the DVD again with Jo. Haha, not so agitated this time round when he played the first 3 suites.

After which, had been asking Jo to listen to the sample of Bach six suites played by various well-known cellists. But she didn't really makes a good suggestion that which album should I buy.

Played the Suite No 1, prelude for her. Haha, it wasn't very well played as I had not done any warm up. Hehe... hm... heard the way she played the prelude, kinda frustrated with her performance. I wondering why, why am I often agitated when juniors don't play well. Am I too emotional? Sigh... because of her over-slow tempo, lacking of the passion in playing the prelude, I nagged the whole evening. Sigh... I'm detesting myself... hopeless. >_<

Practicing the Allemande movement, haha... didn't played well. But shouldn't give up. Hm... among the six suites prelude, guess I'm loving suite no 6 prelude. It sounds cheerful in the beginning, emotional in between... ... ... well, can't comment much, cuz didn't heard the full prelude. Haha...

Guess the moment I was elated was when I got a msg from Lin Shee. Haha, kinda miss her. Hope that we'd meet out some days.

Dad and mom had been quarreling, and mom had a fight with sis a few days ago too. None of them had been talking to each other, sigh.

I was signing offline in msn at first, and I saw this person whom I had not been chatting with, I changed the status to online.

I wasn't wrong, he approached me and we had a chat. He wasn't feeling good, but I'm not any better than him too. We chatted about his problems, I tried my best to help, but I was left speechless 2 times in the conversation. I'm aware that I'm useless, I was upset that I couldn't help him out most of the time. Sometimes, I'm wondering had I really tired my best to help him.

Sigh... really hope to 've a good cry...

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:28

13 February 2005

Any suggestion?

Went over to Mu He house to take the Bach Cello Suites performed by Rostropovich. Wow... excellent, felt envious of him, I wish I'd be like him one day... wish I think most probably is impossible one, wishful thoughts

Hm, I wanna buy Bach Six Suites CD/VCD/DVD. So went online to do some research and discovered that there're three peoples which has recorded the Six Suites. Ma Yo Yo, Rostropovich, Pierre Fournier and Pablo Casals, equally good to me. So now I'm very vexed on which to buy. Any suggestion?

My Wishing Well

New Wishes... updating

1. Everyone's happy

2. First Love 10

3. Bach Six Suites For Unaccompanied Cello CD/VCD/DVD

4. Bursary

5. CCC & CDC Schorlarship

6. Personal Cello (Best if I can use 80% of my own money)

7. Personal Lappy (Best if I afford it my own)

8. Performing Bach Suite No 1 - Prelude in the upcoming concert

9. Master at least Bach Suite No 1 (Prelude, Allemande, Courante, Sarabande, Menuett 1 & 2 Gigue)

10. Master Bach Suite Preludes of Suite No 1, 2, 3 and 6... <-- Possible?

11. Performing cello solo pieces/concerto in church <-- Type for fun de... cuz is impossible de. *Sob*

I hope I'll luv myself more

02:32

12 February 2005

I'll not 've the peace time to sleep if my dad's at home, sigh.

It was Saturday early in the morning yet I was sitting down here updating my journal. Sigh, I was being waken up by my dad. Well, every time he's at home, I don't 've the peace time to sleep, kinda used to it, sigh.

Mom still not awake, hopefully later she'd be fine with dad. Since the year of dragon, mom had not been having a happy time during New Year. Each an every year, there seem to be something unpleasant that happened that hurt her deeply. Mom had always been strong, when she cried, she was deeply hurt, sigh... I do not wish to see her crying, especially on CNY.

Promised Jo to watch "Hide and Seek" with her, but guess I won't be to make this afternoon, gotta take good care of my mom. Actually, I wish I'd go out as I wanted to buy a CD album that consist all the Six Suites composed by J.S Bach. It was played by Ma Yo Yo, I've heard the sample of every suites, it was like kinda fast, wondering should I buy it.

First Love 10 gonna be out on 15 Feb, the cover was so attractive. Wondering how's the ending gonna be. Thrilled...

Guess haven't been eating any proper meal, kinda hungry now, but there's nothing for me to slurp.

Update

Had been practicing cello since 11.30 till now... wa... fingers tip kinda pain man! Hm... had been listening to Bach Suite No played by Yo Yo Ma for many times, still couldn't catch up with him. Haha, had been concentrated on Bach Suite No 1 this morning till now. Hm... finally memorised it. Worth it man.

Guess brother was very agitated listening to the Bach Suite No 1... he was acting like a conductor man... haha... my god...

Sigh... both brother and I were very hungry and I believe, mom too. Yet no ones's willing to goa nd buy dinner. I left with no choice, brother definitely not going to buy. Mom wasn't feeling good, so I went to buy dinner for them. Hm... Mom seems to be kinda okay after having her dinner, happy. Haha...

Guess, I'm going to MH house later to take the DVD. Haha... kk... helping him to burn disc le.

I hope I'll luv myself more

08:30

11 February 2005

Sad

Just got back home from pioneer mall, heard from kor that my mom cried cuz of my dad. Sigh, my dad couldn't find his photo so he shouted at my mom...

Pearlyn broke some bowls and her mom was damn angry. Sigh... not that I wanna say her lor, she should 've stopped her from opening the cabinet right? Sigh... why must she waited for her to break the bowls then gets angry with?

Sigh... speechless...

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:45

Mom's coming back!

Hoho... mom's coming back this evening, erm... wrong... should be tonight. Haha, since her departure on Tuesday, I haven't been eating a proper meal yet gained unnecessary weight. Shit! Cuz that caused me to 've another terrible dream. I'll definitely dream of this dream when I ate lots of fattening food. Yesterday I had half bottle of pineapple tarts and 3/4 of shrimp roll and that caused me to gain 1kg. And that's just like shit when I don't feel that I'm full. Haix...

Tomorrow guess dad 'll be going to visit granny, so guess I'm going too. To see if there's still any red packet I have not collected yet.

Guess I'm gonna 've some saving in the bank soon. Hopefully I could get the bursary cum my pay gonna be quite a few hundreds. Well, that's good enough to help me out with the monthly internet and handphone bills. Hoho~~

Updates

Hey, posted a new entry in my true world blog. View it when u've the time... pretty long man. Cuz wanna u guys to know more about me... ;p

http://my-true-world.blogspot.com

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:58

10 February 2005

Today woke up at noon when dad phoned my handphone just to check whether had I taken my lunch or not. After which, he asked my cousin to talk with me on the phone. Haha, I was asking my cousin to come to Singapore. Wondering will she come out with my parents on tomorrow or not.

Actually, planned to visit Su Qing house this morning but end up I overslept. Haha... so didn't go. Haix...

I felt more refreshing after sweeping and mopping the floor. Then went to make a cup of milo for myself as my lunch. Hehe... went to practice cello until now. 3hrs I guess...

Finish showering, so I'm here to update. Sigh, so bored. No ones was online. Haix... so guess better go and play The Sims.

Take care...

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:18

09 February 2005

Yesterday went over to my granny house to 've our reunion dinner. Wahaha... long time didn't saw Regina and Joshua (both my cousins) le. Haha... Regina very out-going man! Love playing with her. Joshua, very cute, he manage to walk le. Haha... last time I saw him, he not even can sit still himself, still 've to rely on something. Now, so handsome le!!! Haha...

Finish my reunion dinner, mama asked me to stay over at her house. Then Helen aunt asked me to go over her house. Ai yo, I'm wanted. Shit, never 'll I stay at my granny house w/o my cousins (Bao Zhen & Bao Yi) accompany me. So I went over their house and stayed over there.

Kinda not used to it. Guess I've not been in the air con room for months and now suddenly slept in an air con room make me sick. I woke up this morning with a terrible running nose. And I came back with an additional headache. I'm feeling terrible sick, esp my head is cracking soon.

Later I still 've to go over to my granny house. Sianz... wondering wanna go ma. Still me alone. Haix... wonder wonder...

But if I don't go, granny gonna be angry, cuz she definitely got prepare my lunch and dinner for me. Haix... how? Anyone here to help?

My god-daughter, Xiao Mon tagged on my taggie. Haha... felt v touched as she still remember me. Ai yo... Happy CNY to evbody!

Mom had not been my side for only 1 night, and I was like missing her so much. Haix... hopefully she came back soon!

Update

Hoo... just finish practicing 2.5hrs of cello. Maybe later gonna practice again as a make up for yesterday.

Got the feeling of the flow for the first 5 bars (Bach) but still didn't played well. Well, gonna practice hard just for the 5 bars later.

Wondering whether my kor wanna go granny house or not. Haix... just now he phoned and said wanna go at around 3pm plus. Ai yo... no going 5pm soon, he's still not back home yet. Sigh...

Luckily cousin didn't sms neither my aunt had called my house. Hoo... luckily man!

Hm, just finish reading Love for Venus 6 this afternoon. Haha, I realized one thing. I didn't really get the characters correctly until the sixth book. Haha... Eichi and Yuki are twins. So some how a little confused. But now, no more fear, I could recognise by looking at the hair colour. Haha... a very comic man!

Now waiting for Love for Venus 7 and First love 10 to be out. Haha... can't wait to read it.

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:07

08 February 2005

No regrets

Dad, mom, sis and niece went back to M'sia this morning le. Kinda regret that I didn't follow them back. But no regrets, perhaps I'd really felt regretted if I went back.

W/o their presence at home, I was kinda not used to it. Normally at this hour, mom would 've came back home from work. I would normally heard what she's doing. She is either preparing dinner or doing laundry. But today, and for the next 3 days, I won't be hearing all these.

Dad always switch on the radio and playing the CNY songs. Every year, I felt the CNY atmosphere even I'm staying at home doing own stuffs.

Pearlyn has grown up, she starts to talk something which I can understand clearly. For example, my books dropped, and she would say "Drop" unlike those times when she just started learning to talk. Haha... yesterday I slept together with her, and she was like kicking me every minutes, shit... lack of sleep the whole night.

Today is my daddy birthday, kinda sad that I couldn't celebrate for him. But still wanna wish him "Happy Birthday".

Guess I'm gonna miss them for days and nights...

:=( <-- crying face

Reunion Dinner

Shit, dad just phoned and told me to go over granny house to 've our reunion dinner. Sigh... wondering will Kor be going with me or not. Haix... every year, the only one who's willing to go over to granny house was me, the only one. Haix... then 've to collect all those red packets for kors and jie. Haix... sianz...

Haix... hopefully I go there, my smallest aunty isn't there. Cuz I'm afraid of her, I admit, damn afraid. So please... ... God bless me...

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:44

07 February 2005

Sianz... staying at home

Sigh, mom decided that she's not going to JP any more. What the... haix...

Now still in my two minds whether to follow my parents back to M'sia or not. Sianz... went back also nothing to do. Stay in S'pore at least I can practice cello, read comic, surf net, play games etc. In M'sia only can stay in that kampong, if not go shopping only. Sianz right? Better don't follow them.

Sianz... now me going to play The Sims, later going to practice cello. Haix... sianz staying at home. Wanna find a job soon.

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:33

Tired

Went to hunt for new template, but didn't find any nice one. But still get my my true world bloggy template changed.

Tomorrow going to Jurong Point with mummy, cuz she wanna go and update her bank book. I wanna go and pierce my ears, how I wish I would 've a tattoo behind my neck. Cool?

Damn tired, guess gonna sleep le. Later tomorrow slept till mom came back home, guess she not going any more. Haha... take care everybody!

I hope I'll luv myself more

02:41

06 February 2005

Sad

Today woke up late, slept till 1pm cuz no CO. Hm... wake up le, wrote some CNY cards for some friends till 2.30pm then I quickly ran to the bathroom and had a quick shower.

Mom told me that she had a fight with Jie yesterday. And today her lady boss showed her attitude and I can tell that she's upset by looking at both her watery eyes.

I phoned jie when I'm on my way to work, I spoke to her nicely and I nearly cried too (tears running down my cheeks, I wiped it off). Well, my mom had been strong, I seldom see her cry. Everytime she cried that's mean she has been hurted deeply, and that breaks my heart. Mom had been looking after me for 17 years, I only saw her crying for 3 times and again, today she nearly cried. I felt deeply hurt.

Today last day of work there, Lin Shee too, after which she'll be working at U T... 've a short conversation with her this afternoon:

LS: Ni yao zhi dong xi ma? Wa bang ni mai. Wo yao qu mai bei mian

Me: Huh? Bu yao, wo bu er, xie xie. Wei she men bu yao mai fruit cake?

LS: Hen gui ley...

Me: Wo qin ni zi la. Ying hui jing tian shi wo de zui hou yi tian

LS: Wo ye shi. Ni na shi yi jing qin wo he liang cha le

Me: O... xun bian ma... haha... (Actually not helping her buy, I bought it specially for her de. Really... must trust me K?)

LS: At least ni you na ge xin yi. Ru guo shi bian ren zhao jiu wang ji le.

Me: Haha... wo hen treasure peng you de. They're impt to me. Ni qu mai bei mian, wan shang wo qin ni zhi fruit cake

LS: Bu yao la, wo zi ji mai

Me: Haha... bu yong jing. Ni qu mai, wo bang ni kan (help her to look after her kiosk)

Then she went to buy her cup noodle le. Not long after that, she came to ask me something again

LS: Ni you mei you he slurpee de?

Me: Huh?

LS: Slurpee

Me: Huh?

LS: 7-11 de slurpee

Me: Hor... you ar...

LS: Ni yao bu yao her, wo qin ni

Me: O... bu yao bu yao...

LS: Yao la...

Me: Bu yao la...

LS: Wo hai mei you qin ni zhi dong xi ley

Me: Ai yo... bu yong jing de la...

LS: Wo bu guan, wo mai le ni yi ding yao her

Me: Bu yong jing lor, ni yao mai, mai hui lai ni zi ji her, wo bu yao he

LS: Huh... bu yao zhe yang leh...

*Stare into each other eyes...

LS: Ni zhen de bu yao ar?

Me: Bu yao (Smiling to her)

LS: Na wo ye bu yao he le...

Then she walked back to her kiosk.

Ai yo, very touched ley. Cuz the first day of work when I saw her, she was damn quiet, she don't talk and don't even smile to me. But till today, although is only a few days of knowing each other, but I had this feeling that we're friends for years. That kind of feeling is very good, we entertained each other when there's no customers. And that's pretty good, guess I'm gonna to miss her damn lots.

At night me asked her whether is she hungry around 7pm plus. She shaked her head. At around 9pm plus, I saw kelly is throwing away the fruit cake, I quickly went to tell lin shee. Then she was like very agitated asking why. Haha... I told her that the cake is not fresh le, that's why they wanna threw it away. She said that it's very wasteful to threw it away. Then I asked her: "You rather you eat the cake than throwing it away?" She answered "Yes". Haha... look, how much she loves to eat fruit cake. But still, Xiao ling refused to give it to her.

Mention of Xiao Ling drives me crazy. She's like very stingy lor. Haix... totally cannot stand her. I mean there's one guy, opposite our shop selling insurance policy. This guy bought 5 boxes of macademia cashew cookies from us. And I asked her to give him 15% discount (just take it that it was bought by me) but she refused. Shit man... haix... sickening la. Not her shop what. Haix...

End up, I was so ma ru... shit... still 've to apologize to him. What a sickening.

Hm... today we brought in the tables earlier. So I went to buy my dinner and also bought desserts for myself and treated lin shee long yan bing. Haha... nice nice man...

Haix... passed it to her the dessert and she asked for my hp number. So I gave it to her and she miss called me. So I've her number too. Haha... I told her that me going off. And she told me that "Hou hui you qi". I answered back "Definitely". From her look I can tell that she missed me too .

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:28

04 February 2005

Exhausted

Haix... so tired after coming back home from work. Hm, today I didn't promote at all, and the sales was quite good.

Hm... headache, wondering what should I buy for Mr Ji and Su Qing. Wondering mummy want to buy or not, anyway I'm the one who gonna eat all the cookies, so guess I'll be the one who do the purchasing.

Hm... jie wanna me help her buy 2 kueh bangkit (Indo) and 2 mini shrimp roll. Then me maybe will consider cornflake cookies and pineapple tart for Mr Ji. But confirm will be buying shrimp roll for him, is nice man!

Actually I can work till 7 Feb but I don't want. Cuz Tues (8 Feb) is daddy birthday, wanna help him celebrate, but he's going back to M'sia with mummy on (7 Feb) morning, so end up the celebration had to be on Sunday. And it's kinda tired to work when CNY is near. So guess Sat gonna be the last day that I work.

Tomorrow meeting some juniors to buy CNY cookies for Mr JI

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:56

03 February 2005

Don't slack, don't slack, please!

Mr Ji called us to play the Suite No 1 and I was kinda stress. Really damn stress... I'm not afraid of anything but just afraid I couldn't play well. He expected a lot of things and I doubt you'd meet his expectation w/o hours of practice. He played once for us, and I was like OMG! Is so so so nice, so melodious... my god! I think he should 've his solo concert soon.

Ryan and Elgin played well, and that motivated me to practice hard. Not interested in beating anyone but just hoping that the gap between us won't be to big. Or else, wouldn't be able to catch up, so please don't slack don't slack! Please...

Practiced cello just now and I realized that I started to like practicing No 44, allergro. It was so exciting that I'll laugh myself, and I think I'm gonna mad if I'm gonna to practice damn hard for that. Haix... really cannot slack at this point of time, if not sure cannot catch up especially when there're people who had been practicing extremely hard and showed tremendous results.

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:41

02 February 2005

Yesterday meet Jo at 242 bus stop but I was late and so both PC and MH waited at the control station for around 15mins, cuz when MH sms is around 6.25 already. Haha... who cares? They wanna wait, they wait, don't wanna wait just leave, I don't mind going alone.

Shit, I was kinda regret for not going there earlier when I know that we've to reach there earlier to try our costume. End up left with all the small sizes... shit... hopefully later I'll remember to tell Shu Rong.

Again he told me about his lesson with him on Sunday. I don't mind listening but I hate the way he's trying to show off (He knew he's showing off too). Please lor, be more humble or else you won't be able to learn things. Sigh... shit... cannot stand this kind of people, luckily he's a guy, if he's a girl I sure treat her as enermy. I mean there's nothing to be action off when he praise you or whatever shit right. You don't 've to tell me or back stab anyone to tell or to prove that you're the best among all of us. I knew who's better than who.

Everyone of us 've our own good point in playing cello. You 've your own and we've our own too.

Shit...

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:14

01 February 2005

What a sickening

See the time stamp of this entry, it's 8.48 in the morning right now and why am I here? Disadvantage of sharing room with someone else is like this. Fancy setting three alarms yet none of it's able to wake my piggy kor up but woke his little piggy up early in the morning. Sigh... of course I'm pissed off, or else I won't be here. Shit, I slept at 3 nearly 4 this morning and now I'm awake, what a sickening man... gonna be late home tonight... =( *Sob*

But I'll 've to thank him... oh no... I should thanks his 2 handphones alarm and 1 alarm clock for waking me up. (Just to let you people know, his handphone alarm did a crescendo [Btw, is ringtone, is ringtone, is ringtone] so is damn loud man) It eventually helped me to kick off my bad habit (living in an abnormal lifestyle; sleep till afternn and stay awake the whole night). Thanks a lot!

Guess recently had been eating loaded of fried things, or tibits cuz my lip now had 1 ulcer and gum had another one, hopefully it recover soon cuz is painful when you brush your teeth esp when you rinse your mouth and it hurts too when you drink something. So pls recover soon...

Okay, is about time for me to practice cello and I'm sure I'm gonna be more efficient than his alarms, he'll wake up for sure. Let's c how efficient I'm... =p

Exactly what I've said

Although brother didn't wake up immediately when I practiced scales, but he did screamed and yelled at me after an hour. Exactly what I've said, the sound that the cello makes 'd be a better alarm clock for my piggy kor.

Hm... practiced 2.5hrs... wanna practice more, but tonight still 've SYCO practice, so don't wanna practice so much, tired.

Wondering wanna help mom do cleaning ma... clean the windows... dangerous sia... haha... Maybe tomorrow ba... haha...

I hope I'll luv myself more

08:48